Tips for Letting Kids Help in the Kitchen

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I read a meme on Facebook the other day that said, “I’m not really a control freak.  But….can I show you the right way to do that?” I laughed out loud because this is totally me.  There are times that I become impatient with my kids when they are trying to help in the kitchen. I think I do this for a couple of reasons; I am just trying to get something done quickly, and I like things done a certain way.  A lot of times I just say, “Here, let me do it.” I am doing my kids a disservice when I do this. Habits are hard to change, but I have promised them that I would be better about this.

Last Tuesday was one of those mornings that I was better.  My oldest got up on her own and got dressed. (This never happens.  She is not a morning person, and I usually have to drag her out of bed).  This meant that we had a little extra time. She loves scrambled eggs, so I decided to make scrambled eggs for the kids before school.  (This is a rarity on school days because I feel like we are usually running late due to my daughter taking 30 minutes to simply get out of bed). She asked if her and her brother could help make scrambled eggs.  I would normally say no, but I told them yes that day. (I totally need to be more of a yes mom).

They pulled a stool up to the stove. We talked about safety around the stove; how you never touch the hot stove or pan, you never do anything with the stove without an adult, how you have to watch your food closely so it doesn’t start burning and that the stove is still hot even if it is off.  The kids were so excited to help. I let my daughter whisk the eggs and then pour them into the pan. They both got to stir the eggs as they cooked.

When the eggs were done my daughter says, “Thanks for teaching us to cook scrambled eggs mom.  Now when we get bigger, we can cook food for ourselves.” This is 100% what I should focus on every single day.  It is my responsibility as a parent to prepare my kids to be on their own. (I don’t even want to think about this.  I already know I will be a basket case when they go to college). We need to teach our kids the skills that they will need once they get into the real world. If I do everything for them they are going to go off to college not knowing how to brown hamburger, how to make scrambled eggs, how to boil potatoes or how to chop fruits and vegetables. Below are my tips for letting kids help in the kitchen for all parents, but especially for control freaks like me.

Safety First

This is common sense.  Obviously, you need to explain the safety rules of the kitchen.  Safety is always first and your kids need to know that. If you have kids old enough to use a paring knife, it is important to show them how to do it properly so they don’t cut themselves.  Explain the dangers of the oven and stove, as well as any other small appliance that gets hot, such as a slow cooker or a griddle.

Stay Calm

This one is huge.  This is advice for all aspects of life. (I need to take my own advice here). The more you get worked up, the more they get worked up.  You are the adult in the situation. You should be able to have a better handle on your emotions than a 4 year old throwing a fit because their sibling got to dump the first cup of flour into the bowl.  An adult yelling and screaming is essentially an adult tantrum. Don’t get me wrong, I have my moments, but I know I can do better for my kids. The more calm you are the more you can have fun with your kids.  My kids beg to help in the kitchen. It is so much more fun for everyone when I stay calm.

Give Them Tasks That Are Age Appropriate

Clearly, my 2 year old is not going to help chop things or be near the stove.  She can help me dump ingredients into a bowl and help stir. My 5 and 7 year olds are not to the stage that I would trust them with a sharp paring knife.  I have kid friendly plastic knives that they love to use to help me chop up fruit and veggies. (I know, kid friendly and knives are two words that should not go together, but they really are safe. They don’t cut as well as normal knives, but that is kind of the point). These knives just help them learn how to use a knife without you worry about your kid slicing off their finger.

Take a look at this list of appropriate kitchen activities by age.  This list is a guideline. I let my 5 year old help me cook on the stove, but he is a very good listener in the kitchen, so I would trust him. Some 5 year olds are not at that point.  You know your child best.

Your child should always have adult supervision in the kitchen, at least until age 10 and until you trust their culinary skills to be able to perform tasks on their own. Again, this is a guideline. If you have a 12 year old who is very immature and has never cooked in their life, I would not suggest letting them cook on their own.  In fact, age doesn’t necessarily determine someone’s capabilities in the kitchen. My husband still needs supervision in the kitchen and he is 39. Really, just use common sense.

Make Sure You Have the Time

It is not the best idea to try to teach your kids how to make something when you have limited time.  If you are rushing to get supper ready so that you can cart kids off to activities that start in 30 minutes, it isn’t a good time to be teaching your kids how to do new things in the kitchen.  You will be stressed because you are pressed for time and they will be stressed because you are stressed. If you have older kids, whose help is actually helpful, (my kids are young and they like to “help”, which ends up not being helpful), then, by all means, have them help you so you can get supper on the table quicker.

Remember That Messes Are Part of It

If I constantly micromanage my kids and say over and over again, “don’t spill”  or “please don’t make a mess”, it ends up not being fun for them or me. Just relax.  Messes are actually an opportunity to teach them the responsibility of cleaning up. Clean up shouldn’t just be a parent’s task.  I find that my kids are a little less likely to make a huge mess if they know the what it’s like to have to clean it up. I usually don’t have problems getting my kids to do the dishes.  They really love it. I think they just like playing in the water, but they actually do a good job of getting the dishes clean too.

Have Fun

This one is probably most important after kitchen safety.  If you make kitchen tasks fun for your kids, hopefully, they will love cooking and baking when they are adults.  Creating something delicious in the kitchen should be fun. It is something that brings me so much joy and purpose. I want my kids to have a knowledge about cooking and baking; for one, so that they don’t have to live off of mac n cheese and frozen pizza when they are on their own, and for two, so that they have fond memories of cooking with me and their grandmas.  My mom and mother-in-law are far more fun, and patient, than me, when it comes to teaching my kids in the kitchen.