A Perfect Mother Doesn't Exist

In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought I would talk about what I think it means to be a mother. There are so many things that I think of when I think about being a mom (like laundry and tantrums), but mostly I think about how God has entrusted me with four beautiful souls to care for and guide. There is nothing more important than that. God has also put some incredible mothers in my life. I want to honor them this month by sharing some of their recipes. (Stay tuned the next several weeks for some delicious recipes from some wonderful mothers.) But first, let’s talk about what it means to be a mother. Being a mother is not always easy. I definitely didn’t fully understand the stress and responsibility until I became a mom. I am not a perfect mother. A perfect mother doesn’t exist, but I do know that I am the perfect mom for my four wonderful children. God designed it that way.

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To me, being a mother means…

Loving my tiny humans so fiercely that it hurts.
Making sacrifices every day in order to make my children’s lives better.
Praying daily that I am raising good human beings who will be contributing members of society as adults.
Laundry. So much laundry!
Begging for alone time, but during that alone time the only thing I can think about is what my children are doing when I’m not there, and hoping their dad isn’t letting them destroy the house.
Saying NO a million times a day. I wish that I was a YES mom, but I’m not. I probably should work on that. If you have never seen the movie Yes Day on Netflix, you have to watch it. My kids have been begging for a YES day since the first time they saw the movie.
Hiding my favorite chocolate bars in the linen closet with the sheets. Goodness knows, no one else ever changes the sheets on any bed in the house, so I know my chocolate is safe.
Crying on every one of my children’s first day of kindergarten, not because I’m worried that they will struggle to be away from me all day, but because it’s the beginning of letting go and it makes me think about them leaving for college. Letting go is SO hard!
Making each child’s favorite meal for supper on their birthday, even if it’s macaroni and cheese and hot dogs that are each shaped like octopi.
Staying up until one in the morning to put together the power wheels car that grandma and grandpa got as a combined gift for their birthdays so it is ready to use at their birthday party the next day. (This was several years ago. They all still love that car).
Getting the best hugs every single day with an ,”I love you so much Mama.”
Having my older three kids beg for snuggles every single night at bedtime. Bedtime is one of my favorite times. Those are the times I have the most in depth conversations with my kids. It makes my heart full when they are willing to share their thoughts and feelings with me. Our bedtime routine always involves telling the best and the worst of the day. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT they all say, “the best was seeing my whole family and the worst was nothing.”
Watching my children become best friends. Seeing how much they love each other brings me joy. I pray every day that they will have great relationships with each other as adults.
Always having to share my food.
Having to tell my 10 year old, 8 year old and 5 year old to wash their hands and flush the toilet EVERY SINGLE time they use the bathroom. The kids love to talk about the time I accidentally said, “flush your hands and wash the toilet.” I still get belly laughs with that one.
My kids teaching me more than I could ever learn from a formal education, my job or a book. They teach me what unconditional love really is, that being patient and calm helps every situation more than yelling and being angry, (I can be a yeller sometimes), and that everyone deserves respect, compassion and empathy. I swear my kids are the most compassionate and empathetic people I know.
Tantrums on a daily basis, and it’s not just the kids losing it. Mom loses it sometimes too.
Cleaning up a room only to have it destroyed again in 2 minutes flat. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth cleaning it up in the first place, but I like things organized. Plus, the kids help pick up too, and they need to learn responsibility.
Deciding to cut back at work after having my 4th baby because I knew I didn’t want to miss a thing, plus it’s what was best for my kids. As tough as some days are when I have very little adult interaction, it’s the best decision we have ever made. I will cherish these years forever.
Wine. So much wine! (Not too much of course. I have to be able to function to take care of kids in the morning. I’m a lightweight, so two glasses is my max. Ha!).
Creating a magical childhood that my children will look back on with great fondness. My mom made my childhood so magical and I want to do the same for my kids.
Teaching them everything I can in order for them to become more independent each day. This is such a tough one for me because it makes me think about them not needing me on a daily basis anymore. It’s funny, when they were completely dependent on me as newborns I wished for the time they could do things on their own. Now that they are doing more things on their own, I kind of miss those newborn days.

I think everyone sees motherhood a little bit differently. Some of these things may resonate with you and some of them might not. The most important thing is for your kids to know that you love them. Everything else is just extra. Motherhood is stressful and chaotic, and beautiful and magical all at the same time. A perfect mother doesn’t exist, but I really believe each mother is the perfect mother for her children. God designed it that way.